"Faithful Fathers--- Problem Solvers at Work Today!"

 

There is an old saying that goes like this... "every problem has a solution and each solution creates new problems which have solutions which create new problems which have solutions..."  The story of the 'Cats of Borneo' is an excellent example...

   http://www.rmi.org/spring_2012_esj_07_imagine_a_world

 

Or as Pogo once said, "we have met the enemy and he is us!".  Old pal, St. Paul referred to this reality as "the old Adam" in each of us.  And I've always liked the saying from recovery ministry... "if that thing you are doing is causing a problem, then that thing you are doing is a problem."  Word!

 

It's Father's Day 2013 weekend!  Hopefully, lots of dads will be in our churches this Sunday.  Hopefully, they will be wanting to hear a word from God about their lives.  Most men I know who are fathers would "lay down their lives" for their children...die for their children.  I'm not sure if that is a problem or a solution but I think our best hope is for the fathers in our churches to "live" for their children.  Will the men in our churches hear a word about "LIFE" this Sunday?  According to Pat Morley, founder of Man in the Mirror ministry ( a para-church organization and linked to the ELCA's Lutheran Men in Mission http://www.maninthemirror.org/) church leaders face 2 key problems...

 

• The "men problem" has become a crisis that is virtually out of control. The collateral damage among families is staggering. Men under 40 are especially vulnerable to an alien worldview that is gutting the institutions of marriage and family. Our government agencies, social sector organizations, and businesses are overrun trying to cope with the downstream damage of an increasingly fatherless, angry, and dysfunctional generation. 

      and...

• Unfortunately, we also have a "church problem." The mission of the church, of course, is to make disciples. We love the church. But the vast majority of churches we talk to are struggling to consistently make male disciples. As a result, they have not been able to cope with the changing climate among men. Their leadership resources are often depleted and most of them need fresh ideas. Churches know that there can be no meaningful solution to the problems our world faces unless men are equipped to be godly men, husbands, fathers, and citizens.

Now, granted, that's a lot to unpack and is really a description of the tip of the iceberg rather than the whole chuck of ice, but does offer a reality all pastors and leaders of men must address.  For, if we do not... then I think we've conceded to 'be" the problem versus tackling it head on.

 

So, where do you start?  It might be a different place than the next pastor or youth director or men's ministry point man... depending on where they are at present... And if that is the case then let me suggest... and some will find this unusual coming from me... that we use our 'liturgical' resources to tend to this... think words like... rhythm, diligence, persistence, authenticity and couple those with words like purpose, grace, renewal, reformation and molding just for starters... and it starts for me on Sunday...  God at work... for the sake of my life and for the sake of your life and those around us.

 

Men of God... Fathers... dads... sons... brothers... can we do this on Sunday...?

• Gather in God's house with gratitude and hope for days past, today and tomorrow?
• Make a point to greet other men around you before the worship begins... to suggest...'hey, we're on this road together... no one walks alone...' Smile... shake a hand... say, "hey... I'm..... (add your name...) and make sure you do that with another man you don't know well... 2 is better!
• Then sit down and shut up for moment and invite God to 'speak' in a way that you will understand and know that this is the best place you could be on Sunday morning...
• Rhythm... confession... owning up... saying 'brokenness' is real and I'm Humpty Dumpty as each of us falls off the wall and somehow can't find a way to piece it all back together...
• Rhythm x 2 ... silence... sense and feel water pouring over your head... know that the Word of God connected to the water washes you clean... trace the cross of Christ on your forehead... it won't rub off, trust me...
• Rhythm x 3 ... the silence is broken when the words of forgiveness and grace are shared... "all my sins are forgiven"  WoW!  Burdens are lifted... the door is opened to a new life... renewed, refreshed, restored...
• Rhythm x 4 ... how does this happen?  "The peace of the Lord be with you always!" is spoken... words to share with others around you... Jesus is God's peace... with each of us... in the center of all those smiles, hand shakes and hugs... Jesus in the middle of our life together... the peace that passes all human understanding... so don't try to figure out God... rejoice in the reality that God has figured YOU out!
• Rhythm x 5... even if you can't carry a tune in a bucket or whether you sing bass in the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJybtgsOYno) this is the moment of 'awe' and gives cause to sing and praise God and that's why we always sing after the peace is shared... the Reed Sea has split... Moses leads us to the other side of life and we sing our hearts out to the one who saves and provides...

And then we pray and are ready to hear the Word of God and be -reshaped for faithful living...

 

Isn't this really what we do on Sundays...

 

 

Now, when we do this... we will all appear like a bunch quietistic guys who aren't very certain about life or ourselves... Not so, though!  We gather, admit, re-think, renew, make plans, act upon those plans, review and assess and then come back the next Sunday and repeat...  Church is the place where we "practice our faith" so that when those moments arise outside the walls of the church we will have a faith to use...  we all have code... for some our code causes problems... for others the code is the problem solver... but it's life-long work... for all of us... every day... 24-7-365... modeled after the God who neither sleeps nor slumbers...

 

Last piece of business... cause this IS our business... making disciples... helping fathers be faithful and do more than die for their children...

1. Divorce rates have been dropping during the last few decades. Data indicates that marriages have lasted longer in the 21st century than they did in the 1990s.
2. The other side of that statistic is many couples are just not marrying and choosing to live together instead...
3. Which leads to Peggy Contos Hahn's comment earlier this year that in 2012 more children were born out of wedlock than those who are born of a married couple.
4. So, problems have solutions and solutions cause new problems... Here's a list of info you might find helpful before and after Father's Day 2013!  Enjoy... and pray...  http://buildingbrothers.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Men_Statistics.pdf

Happy Father's Day!  May your church be filled with men who "live" for their children...

Keep the conversations going... share this message with a friend or two...

One man at a time; no man left behind...

     Brian

"HANDLING THE TRUTH---When Jesus Calls Us Out!"

To All the King's Men,
 
Here's something every preacher hates to admit...
 

There's never just one sermon on Sunday.  It's more like 3 or 4 and maybe even 5.  At the end of any given Sunday, there's the sermon that got written... the sermon that got preached... the sermon that should have been preached (this one shows up about 4:30-5:00 Sunday afternoon)... the one that got heard... and are you ready?... the one parishoners wished they'd heard.  Maybe you have even another one ...

 

But, which ever one won out this past week, this is my reflection on the message I thought I preached on Sunday, SEP 9... as I flipped back and forth from the 2nd lesson and the appointed Gospel text for the day....

 

A rendering from last Sunday's texts in St. Mark and the Letter of James...

First from St. Mark...chapter 7... Jesus is confronted by the religious leaders about ignoring rather than tending to and respecting Hebrew ritual and especially the part about eating with 'defiled' hands... which Jesus' disciples apparently became experts at... and ...in response this is what happened...

"When he had left the crowd and entered the house, his disciples asked him about the parable. 18He said to them, “Then do you also fail to understand? Do you not see that whatever goes into a person from outside cannot defile, 19since it enters, not the heart but the stomach, and goes out into the sewer?” (Thus he declared all foods clean.) 20And he said, “It is what comes out of a person that defiles. 21For it is from within, from the human heart, that evil intentions come: fornication, theft, murder, 22adultery, avarice, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, folly. 23All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”

Did I catch that?  It is that which is IN me and comes OUT of me that is defiling to the world... I had some surgery this past Summer... The doc said I had a bad case of diverticulitis.  So they cut me open and did a bit of selective tissue reduction and he said, "it'll be OK now," but I forgot to ask him if he saw any of the stuff Jesus mentioned... that stuff inside me which defiles....I should have asked...because you really don't want to know what I said about the barber who cut my hair last weekend shorter than it's been since the opening of HS basketball practice in October of 1971.  Really.  My regular hair cutter was ill.  So, I took chair # 2 and was clear about how I wanted my hair cut. But, I guess I should have not closed my eyes while sitting in the chair and by the time I got home after multiple glances in the car's rear view mirror and a more detailed look in the mirror on the bathroom wall...well a sailor would have had a tough time keeping up with the things I said about barber # 2 and her parents and dog... So, Jesus was right... and it was only a bad haircut that got my heart to unload...for any of us...it doesn't take much...

 

And from the Letter of James, the brother of Jesus...

 

"But be doers of the word, and not merely hearers who deceive themselves. 23For if any are hearers of the word and not doers, they are like those who look at themselves in a mirror; 24for they look at themselves and, on going away, immediately forget what they were like. 25But those who look into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and persevere, being not hearers who forget but doers who act—they will be blessed in their doing. 26If any think they are religious, and do not bridle their tongues but deceive their hearts, their religion is worthless. 27Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the polluted world."  -James 1:22-27

 
Is this a truth we can handle?  Is this a truth we dare not ignore?  Here's the short lesson and cause for why "church" is such a critical and urgent concern in our 21st century culture...or in this case...why I'm convinced that the efforts we make in our ministry with men carry far more weight than just a suggestion...

 

1. James sets the tone ...asking: what is 'pure' and 'undefiled' religion before God? Exchange the word, "religion" here for the word, "worship." It fits better and reflects the original intent;
2. Two things, James writes, point to our 'worship' life... a) our personal and collective care for widows and orphans; AND b) keeping ourselves unstained by the polluted world. This is difficult, essential and eternal work!
3. Note that James said, "be doers of the WORD"... not doer of words... Jesus his brother is the WORD of God, to be worshipped and followed and emulated in the world;
4. If Jesus is on target...and I think he is... then I need to be more concerned about my own sin and less concerned about the sin of others as mission priority;
5. But, if I am just 1 of almost 7 billion people who are full of 'defilement' then I don't stand a chance to be pure and holy... as everyday I'm bombarded with the 'defilement' of others. That's the truth and I still have to handle it...but man, oh man... it seems to be a daunting task;
6. Thus, our good works, can never save us and only God's grace is deep enough and high enough and wide enough to cover all the defilement of the world. Simply put, the "cross of Jesus" does it and it is enough. It is and will always be enough!  His resurrection from the dead announces that we have power to walk away from sin, evil and death to pursue and live a new life.
7. The Mark passage, then catches the world off guard.  We sense we have the whole of life in the balance... but honestly.... we seem to have a difficult time handling this truth!

 But, what powerful texts for our lives.... the Word of God comes right at us... and we think there's so much more to tend to...  School's back in session.... Another hurricane.... or two on the way... The national election rolling down the tracks like a train out of control ... it's a long list.... AND to top this off ... I just returned from attending our monthly SeniorS luncheon where the guest speakers were from the Brazoria Child Advocacy office. They assist CPS in the cases of child abuse, both physical and sexual. Their work is hard as well as heart-wrenching! Defilement comes from inside of us... and the world suffers... woman, men and children... and over 650 cases were reported in Brazoria County alone last year. Tens of thousands in Texas.  Reported. The ones we know. There are others; trust that. We all know someone who knows someone...

In over 30 years of parish ministry I have known of only an hand full of child abuse cases. In one case...in another state... in another church...the dad was "under investigation". No one knew but me. But, as churches go... someone suggested this guy be the chaperone and go to camp with the children. I said no. Some asked why. I wouldn't answer. Some were mad at me. I didn't care. Jesus' brother, James, was right...I wanted to be the pastor of a church that watched over widows and orphans and help myself and others remain unstained in a polluted world. For me to agree with this suggestion would put children at risk and basically invite a potential perpetrator a venue to wreak havoc with young hearts and lives.

Nine out of 10 sex offenders are male.  But, it's not just about child abuse. The list Jesus provides leaves none of us innocent. Male or female... young or old... high or low on the socio-economic or education specturm.  It's what the author Scott Peck says in his book, The People of the Lie...

   

"I understand I have the capacity for great evil."

 

He starts with himself. Jesus suggests we should, too. Do we go looking for ways to defile? Not normally, but when the opportunity arises...it's just so easy to fall prey to our own sinfulness... or as we say from time to time... "If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us..." and even when God knows...I'm hoping barber # 2 never finds out!

So, what's the answer...? Well, that's the life-long journey of faith. It's what we call "practicing" our faith so that when the moment confronts us... we will have a faith to put to use.  My goodness won't save me and your goodness wont save you because all the men and women who do despicable things are talked about by their family, friends and neighbors like this..."They were such a good person. We're so surprised!" And we deceive ourselves again...

But, in 30 years of ministry... only a handful of child abuse cases... and what does that say about the people in our churches...? Well, maybe what James and Jesus suggested... for if we recognize that we have great potential to defile (ourselves and others!) then spending my time tending to widows and orphans (literally, people who are broken and at risk) and keeping ourselves unstained by the polluted world, the less likely we are to find ourselves in situations where the worst in us comes rushing out into the world... because it must be said also... we all have the great capacity for goodness..., patience, diligence,  kindness, gentleness, peace-making, etc... and as much as we are simul justus et peccator... saint and sinner...always... our celebrating and nurturing the saint in us speaks to the lasting value and purpose and place "church" is for the world.

 

So, be "doers of the WORD"... pray...worship... study... invite... encourage... give & serve... these things are not against the law and do only one thing and that is to "build up God's kingdom..." and to God in Christ be the glory... always. Amen.

 "Be doers of the word, and not merely hearers ..."  the words of Jesus and James is a truth we can handle... and when Jesus call us out... he does not do so to bring shame upon us...he calls us out to make a difference.

One man at a time; no man left behind,

     Brian

 

Men's Ministry Coordinator

TX-LA Gulf Coast Synod