"Faithful Fathers--- Problem Solvers at Work Today!"

 

There is an old saying that goes like this... "every problem has a solution and each solution creates new problems which have solutions which create new problems which have solutions..."  The story of the 'Cats of Borneo' is an excellent example...

   http://www.rmi.org/spring_2012_esj_07_imagine_a_world

 

Or as Pogo once said, "we have met the enemy and he is us!".  Old pal, St. Paul referred to this reality as "the old Adam" in each of us.  And I've always liked the saying from recovery ministry... "if that thing you are doing is causing a problem, then that thing you are doing is a problem."  Word!

 

It's Father's Day 2013 weekend!  Hopefully, lots of dads will be in our churches this Sunday.  Hopefully, they will be wanting to hear a word from God about their lives.  Most men I know who are fathers would "lay down their lives" for their children...die for their children.  I'm not sure if that is a problem or a solution but I think our best hope is for the fathers in our churches to "live" for their children.  Will the men in our churches hear a word about "LIFE" this Sunday?  According to Pat Morley, founder of Man in the Mirror ministry ( a para-church organization and linked to the ELCA's Lutheran Men in Mission http://www.maninthemirror.org/) church leaders face 2 key problems...

 

• The "men problem" has become a crisis that is virtually out of control. The collateral damage among families is staggering. Men under 40 are especially vulnerable to an alien worldview that is gutting the institutions of marriage and family. Our government agencies, social sector organizations, and businesses are overrun trying to cope with the downstream damage of an increasingly fatherless, angry, and dysfunctional generation. 

      and...

• Unfortunately, we also have a "church problem." The mission of the church, of course, is to make disciples. We love the church. But the vast majority of churches we talk to are struggling to consistently make male disciples. As a result, they have not been able to cope with the changing climate among men. Their leadership resources are often depleted and most of them need fresh ideas. Churches know that there can be no meaningful solution to the problems our world faces unless men are equipped to be godly men, husbands, fathers, and citizens.

Now, granted, that's a lot to unpack and is really a description of the tip of the iceberg rather than the whole chuck of ice, but does offer a reality all pastors and leaders of men must address.  For, if we do not... then I think we've conceded to 'be" the problem versus tackling it head on.

 

So, where do you start?  It might be a different place than the next pastor or youth director or men's ministry point man... depending on where they are at present... And if that is the case then let me suggest... and some will find this unusual coming from me... that we use our 'liturgical' resources to tend to this... think words like... rhythm, diligence, persistence, authenticity and couple those with words like purpose, grace, renewal, reformation and molding just for starters... and it starts for me on Sunday...  God at work... for the sake of my life and for the sake of your life and those around us.

 

Men of God... Fathers... dads... sons... brothers... can we do this on Sunday...?

• Gather in God's house with gratitude and hope for days past, today and tomorrow?
• Make a point to greet other men around you before the worship begins... to suggest...'hey, we're on this road together... no one walks alone...' Smile... shake a hand... say, "hey... I'm..... (add your name...) and make sure you do that with another man you don't know well... 2 is better!
• Then sit down and shut up for moment and invite God to 'speak' in a way that you will understand and know that this is the best place you could be on Sunday morning...
• Rhythm... confession... owning up... saying 'brokenness' is real and I'm Humpty Dumpty as each of us falls off the wall and somehow can't find a way to piece it all back together...
• Rhythm x 2 ... silence... sense and feel water pouring over your head... know that the Word of God connected to the water washes you clean... trace the cross of Christ on your forehead... it won't rub off, trust me...
• Rhythm x 3 ... the silence is broken when the words of forgiveness and grace are shared... "all my sins are forgiven"  WoW!  Burdens are lifted... the door is opened to a new life... renewed, refreshed, restored...
• Rhythm x 4 ... how does this happen?  "The peace of the Lord be with you always!" is spoken... words to share with others around you... Jesus is God's peace... with each of us... in the center of all those smiles, hand shakes and hugs... Jesus in the middle of our life together... the peace that passes all human understanding... so don't try to figure out God... rejoice in the reality that God has figured YOU out!
• Rhythm x 5... even if you can't carry a tune in a bucket or whether you sing bass in the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJybtgsOYno) this is the moment of 'awe' and gives cause to sing and praise God and that's why we always sing after the peace is shared... the Reed Sea has split... Moses leads us to the other side of life and we sing our hearts out to the one who saves and provides...

And then we pray and are ready to hear the Word of God and be -reshaped for faithful living...

 

Isn't this really what we do on Sundays...

 

 

Now, when we do this... we will all appear like a bunch quietistic guys who aren't very certain about life or ourselves... Not so, though!  We gather, admit, re-think, renew, make plans, act upon those plans, review and assess and then come back the next Sunday and repeat...  Church is the place where we "practice our faith" so that when those moments arise outside the walls of the church we will have a faith to use...  we all have code... for some our code causes problems... for others the code is the problem solver... but it's life-long work... for all of us... every day... 24-7-365... modeled after the God who neither sleeps nor slumbers...

 

Last piece of business... cause this IS our business... making disciples... helping fathers be faithful and do more than die for their children...

1. Divorce rates have been dropping during the last few decades. Data indicates that marriages have lasted longer in the 21st century than they did in the 1990s.
2. The other side of that statistic is many couples are just not marrying and choosing to live together instead...
3. Which leads to Peggy Contos Hahn's comment earlier this year that in 2012 more children were born out of wedlock than those who are born of a married couple.
4. So, problems have solutions and solutions cause new problems... Here's a list of info you might find helpful before and after Father's Day 2013!  Enjoy... and pray...  http://buildingbrothers.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Men_Statistics.pdf

Happy Father's Day!  May your church be filled with men who "live" for their children...

Keep the conversations going... share this message with a friend or two...

One man at a time; no man left behind...

     Brian

"A Litany for Fathers -- Dads of All Kinds"

 

TO ALL THE KING'S MEN...
For some this first 1st part may be redundant...but please keep reading to get to the end...

My father is not your father...unless you are my brother or one of my sisters... and your father is not my father... unless you are my brother or one of my sisters...but OUR FATHER is my father and OUR FATHER is your father because God the Father is the father of us all...which also means that HOLY is his name and his Kingdom comes and his will is done...and that makes us brothers and sisters in our faith... in fact, if God the Father is the CREATOR of all...then all in the world are our brothers and sisters, too! So, happy Father's Day weekend...God the Father is gathering his children to praise him and serve his world...

Here are some thoughts about my father....I hope they help you have good thoughts about yours...

• my dad was raised on a farm, grew up in the projects, bought a house in the suburbs and thought he was a king!
• my dad's mother and father didn't make it 'til death us do part.' He and my mother did. I didn't. I pray my children will!
• my father turned down 4 promotions to be a route supervisor for the Wonder Bread Co. so that he could have time to coach Little League baseball. Neither of his sons were playing Little League at the time;
• my father helped at the church "men's paint day" of the Sunday School hallways and rooms. He was the only one who showed up that day. He stayed and painted as long as he had planned. Nobody knew but the pastor and God;
• my dad never took me hunting or fishing and never taught me how to tie a necktie. He did show me how to use a shovel, a rake and a paint brush and made me learn the words, "let the tool do the work."
• My dad loved his mother, took care of her in aging years, loved his wife til the day he died and "showed up" for his children's events as often as he could;
• my dad taught me how to cut the grass making certain the front right wheel overlapped the last cut from the back wheels. Extra work was to be avoided;
• my father worked two jobs most of his life. His part time job was a guard on a Brink's truck. We don't have any pictures of him working---just pictures of him relaxing at home and being with his family;
• my dad had a keen eye, didn't miss much and you were a fool to think you could beat him at horseshoes or matching baskets in the driveway;
• I only remember 3 good fights with my dad---a) when I quit baseball at age 14; b) when I didn't get a hair cut at age 17; c) when I quit my summer job in college with 3 weeks left in the summer. I had a back up plan to paint a friend's mother's house. Grace had it's way... my father enjoyed watching me play fast-pitch softball, let his hair grow out and helped me paint that house the last 2 days.
• my dad said an incredible thing to me when I got a little teary in the car watching my mother stand on the sidewalk in front of our house and cry as I was leaving again for college.... "she'll get over it," he said. She did. And I did, too.
• my dad told me from time to time--"I'm proud of you." I knew he meant it.
• my dad died at age 56. March 9, 1987. I had called him just a week before to talk (actually to brag about my new portable phone) on my daughter's 3rd birthday. The last thing he said to me on the phone that day was, "I love you." It was the last thing he ever said to me.
• my dad has a funny way of showing up in my life in this past two decades...ask me about that... yesterday I glanced in the rear view mirror of the car and saw the top of my dad's head...smooth graying hair... funny how his love and presence persist...

I'm wearing my black T-shirt today that says, "Fortunate Son" on the front. I am. I can't lose. OUR FATHER is your father and my father and your father and my father is OUR father...the one who loves us to the end and beyond...

And here is my adapted litany for Father's Day...

+ Let us praise God for those fathers who strive to balance the demands of work, marriage, and children with an honest awareness of both joy and sacrifice.
+ Let us praise God for those fathers who, lacking a good model for a father, have worked to become a good father.

+ Let us praise God for those fathers who by their own account were not always there for their children, but who continue to offer those children, now grown, their love and support.
+ Let us pray to God for those fathers who have been wounded by the neglect and hostility of their children.

+ Let us praise God for those fathers who, despite divorce, have remained in their children's lives.

+ Let us praise God for those fathers whose children are adopted, and whose love and support has offered healing.

+ Let us praise God for those fathers who, as stepfathers, freely choose the obligation of fatherhood and earned their step children's love and respect.

+ Let us praise God for those fathers who have lost a child to death, and continue to hold the child in their heart.

+ Let us praise God for those men who have no children, but cherish the next generation as if they were their own.
+ Let us praise God for those men who have "fathered" us in their role as mentors and guides.

+ Let us praise God for those men who are about to become fathers; may they openly delight in their children.

+ And let us praise those fathers who have died, but live on in our memory and whose love continues to nurture us. - adapted from Kirk Loadman

Men's ministry is not rocket science; it's harder. Keep up this vital work.

One man at a time; no man left behind,

Brian