Groucho Marx was once quoted as saying, "I wouldn't want to join a club that would have people like me as a member." It's not the kind of horn-blowing the Marx brothers were known for but we all get the point. But, what does it mean for us if we were to say of ourselves...
"I wouldn't want to belong to a church that would have people like me as a member!"
But, what kind of men are part of your church? Only the kind you like to hang out with or are there many and various kinds of guys? Hopefully, the latter. In fact, I like hanging out with all kinds of guys at New Life...not just jocks or wanna-be jocks or geeks (a therapist told me once...I'm more both that I think!) or rocket scientists or accountants or Starbuck's guys or guys that can work on old cars...or even guys with last names that don't sound German or Swedish...or guys who have a midwestern accent in the midst of Texas and Lousiana twang...
That's a reality that makes our churches strong...especially when we are "tending" to the men like our grandfathers tended to the garden or the back 40...an intentional, daily effort!
Here are some simple intentions from Dave Murrow from his web-site and a link where the men and pastors of this synod can begin working on developing a great "Father's Day" worship celebration with a focus on the men in your community of all ages...Murrow refers to the guy who is thinking about attending your congregation as "Nick" and most likely...he's no saint!
1. Stop sending Nick signals that church is for women. Take a look around the facilities. Is your church a place where guys like to "hang out?" What Would Jesus Do with your church plant?
2. Pay attention to Nick's life and become students of men. Have you read a good book about males? Life development? What men need at different age levels? Bring a behavioral psychologist to your "men's night" and have him walk the men through the "stages of a man's life." Also, a student of men is paying attention to discern what men need when they hurt; when they are afraid; when they have children to raise; when they retire. Pastors and leaders of men...study the men...
3. Men need great leadership. One thing I know about guys...they know a phony when they see one... Great leaders challenge, instruct, cajole, cheer and direct others through their own self-defined efforts. Leadership bears fruit which makes more leaders. See Jesus' life in the Gospels.
4. Helping men learn. Guys don't want to be dumb; they don't want to be left out. If there's any one thing I've learned in 25+ years of pastoral ministry it is this one thing...men in our churches will bend over backwards and go the distance when they understand what is going on. The key is found in the old proverb..."tell me something and I'll forget it; show me something and I might remember it; involve me in it and I'll claim it as my own." Isn't it interesting that Jesus' disciples finally got it...when they went out and did it...
5. Helping men worship. This is not rocket science. It's harder (so says Peter Moreley)! Help men learn that "going to church" is not equal to worship. Use the term "worship" rather than asking "where do you go to church?" It gives guys the idea that "church" is somewhere else where they are not rather than the reality that they ARE the church right now and where they are! Worship that involves men and plays to their senses engages men. Be visual. Sing "guy songs," and every once in a weekly sermon it's OK for the pastor to say something like..."and men...pay attention to this part...this is the part you won't want to forget." And please don't ask them to hold hands with the stranger standing next to him but do tell them that Jesus is in their lives as they come to eat and drink with other sinners. They like eating and drinking with other sinners.
6. Helping men serve. This may be one of the most critical aspects of men's ministry. Check out your church roster. Who are the most active, most committed, best contributing men in the church? You already know the answer to the question. The guys who are the most active and who "get 'er done" one day at a time and one week at a time all year long. Guys can be challenged to serve God IN and OUT of the church doors. It's a BOTH/AND kind of thing...not and either/or...
Do we want our churches filled with just guys life us? Or do we want to hear our Lord's call to "go, make disciples," giving way to our own wants and desires and rather doing the work that leads to churches full of men. Even though guys don't like to sing...we must all admit when God's house is filled with men...the singing is always better...
Blessings to you as you keep your collective noses to the grindstone of faith and work...
Here's the link to help you plan a wonderful "men's day" later this year...download it...it's FREE!
http://www.churchformen.com/GoForTheGuysSunday.pdf
Brian
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