LONGEVITY ISSUES---"Cranky Old Man Syndrome"

To All the KING'S Men...

Wanna live forever?  In a recent report it was noted that 'grumpy old men' live longer than men who demonstrate less crankiness from day to day.  You may know some.  You may be one!  Remember how Clint Eastwood grumped his way through life as Walt Kowalski in "Gran Torino" as well as the characters played by Jack Lemon and Walter Matthau in the movies by the similar name?  And who can forget the old codger Dana Carvey ( a good sinner/saint Lutheran boy!) for numerous Saturday Night Live episodes?  So, lately, from time to time, when I get called out for demonstrating a certain kind of crankiness, I just respond with a smile and say, "Sorry, I'm working on my longevity issues."  It can spark a good conversation.  I asked one of my older parishioners the other day... "As you've gotten older, how is your patience factor?"  He quickly responded, "LESS!"  Just a one word response!  He is in his 80's and works out no less than 3 times a week.  Hmmmm?  Maybe working out causes or at least contributes to the grump!
 

There's more.  There's actually a medical term for this behavior.  It's called IMS-- Irritable Male Syndrome.   Some, humorously, call it... OMS ... Old Man Situation!  Either way, it seems to be a real thing and is defined as ... are you ready for this... "a state of hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration, and anger that occurs in males and is associated with biochemical changes, hormonal fluctuations, stress, and loss of male identity" ... at least according to a doctor from Edinburgh, Scotland!  So, just for fun... go back and re-read that last sentence with a bit of the Scottish brogue.  It may the only fun you get today!  But, here are the symptoms: Anger coupled with social withdrawal; Irritability; Hypersensitivity; Anxiety; Hot Flashes (not just for women anymore!); Mood swings; Depression; Lack of libido; Back and head aches.  So, this IS serious stuff as that is some list.

But, here's what I'm thinking... I can't do a lot about the natural biochemical changes in my body and I don't know much about hormones, but I can manage my stress in a number of ways and let me be clear... my male identity is not at the bottom of the 'lost and found' box in the church office.  My identity as a child of God, lover of creation, partner in the body of Christ and player in the KING'S men of our church is certain.  Very certain.

Grumpy, cranky, pissy or something in between, all my childhood friends have a bit of codger-ness growing inside of them  now.  I grew up in a tough neighborhood and we didn't live on the side of town where the boys wore suede shoes and had argyle sweaters!  We were all the sons of laborers...steel makers, welders, fabricators, carpet salesmen, one cop, some truck drivers, etc.  My dad drove the Wonder Bread truck and later became the groundskeeper at our newly opened high school.  There were kids all over the 8 blocks of my subdivision...enough boys to field 3 and sometimes 4 baseball teams--including the Farrell 'brothers'--Janet and Susan!  The men worked hard, loved hard making lots of babies, some drank a bit too much and some of them died too soon.  I said it was a tough neighborhood... I quit smoking in the 5th grade and none of the parents on my street divorced!  How's that for tough?  But, maybe the toughness we grew up with is now seeping out of us contributing to our daily demeanor.  Maybe.

The friends I had in high school, college and seminary are working on their longevity issues, too!  The guys I hung around with at Austintown-Fitch HS are all over the place now.  One is a pharmacist, one the local optometrist, another is a hospital administrator, one went into coaching then became a principal and finally a school superintendent.  One is an orthopedic nurse practitioner and another now owns an oil and gas company in the Texas hill country.  They have a friend who somehow survived himself and remains a Lutheran pastor.  We've all tried to be good citizens, productive  contributors in the big scheme of things.  My TLU Bulldog friends, mostly Omega Tau fraternity brothers can be guilty of that too.  Some are doctors, some are lawyers, some bankers, some businessmen, some are school teachers, some great salesmen, and some pastors all attempting to prove Martin Luther right as we seek to be involved in work that strengthens community, builds up giving back more than we were given.  Some of them are retiring, working on it or thinking about it.  The grumpiness I hear from them reflects  a certain kind of grief over some of the stuff they used to be able to do and now can't or they've tired of being dismissed by their children or grandchildren as these old guys are accused of just not understanding how life really is... Sheesh! So, maybe, it is the differing perspectives of the coming generations prompting our grumpiness. Or, maybe ...because we've been good score keepers of wins and losses and towards the end our losses just may be catching up with our wins and the risk of ending life in a 'tie' has never been acceptable.
 

And as for my seminary friends and colleagues... some have become great pastors, some are now teaching in the seminary and some have even been elected bishop or working on a synod staff... and whether they want to admit it or not...their graying hair or receding hair lines indicate they are not immune to an occasional grumpy rant... Grecian formula aside.  In fact, the obituary section of The Lutheran each month might persuade them to admit it as the majority of the pastors listed who have died in Christ were in their 80's or 90's and just for the record... according to the Bible...and in the powerful promises of our baptism... they do and we do ... get to live forever!

So, I'm claiming today as "Cranky Old Man" Day as there is lots which contributes to the outbursts of a grumpy moment AND it's never really the whole thing or totality of one's life... Be reminded, then, that all of us from time to time can work on our longevity issues and others will have to deal with us in the process... like the story about when an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town... it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.  Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, this poem was found. Its quality and content remain impressive...

                 The Cranky Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . . . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!

                                    (originally by Phyllis McCormack; adapted by Dave Griffith)

KING'S Men...

+ K now Christ!
+ I nvite others to join God's team!
+ N urture your faith through prayer, worship & daily Bible reading!
+ G ive your time & money supporting God's work in your church!'
+ ' ( ' = a sign of "possession" and it's about "belonging"---who we are and whose we are!)
+ S peak well of your pastor, family and the men in your life!

KING'S men...

   ...that's who we are... young and old, or in between, sometimes grumpy and always eternal!

   Brian

TX-LA Gulf Coast Synod Men's Ministry Coordinator

"HANDLING THE TRUTH---When Jesus Calls Us Out!"

To All the King's Men,
 
Here's something every preacher hates to admit...
 

There's never just one sermon on Sunday.  It's more like 3 or 4 and maybe even 5.  At the end of any given Sunday, there's the sermon that got written... the sermon that got preached... the sermon that should have been preached (this one shows up about 4:30-5:00 Sunday afternoon)... the one that got heard... and are you ready?... the one parishoners wished they'd heard.  Maybe you have even another one ...

 

But, which ever one won out this past week, this is my reflection on the message I thought I preached on Sunday, SEP 9... as I flipped back and forth from the 2nd lesson and the appointed Gospel text for the day....

 

A rendering from last Sunday's texts in St. Mark and the Letter of James...

First from St. Mark...chapter 7... Jesus is confronted by the religious leaders about ignoring rather than tending to and respecting Hebrew ritual and especially the part about eating with 'defiled' hands... which Jesus' disciples apparently became experts at... and ...in response this is what happened...

"When he had left the crowd and entered the house, his disciples asked him about the parable. 18He said to them, “Then do you also fail to understand? Do you not see that whatever goes into a person from outside cannot defile, 19since it enters, not the heart but the stomach, and goes out into the sewer?” (Thus he declared all foods clean.) 20And he said, “It is what comes out of a person that defiles. 21For it is from within, from the human heart, that evil intentions come: fornication, theft, murder, 22adultery, avarice, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, folly. 23All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”

Did I catch that?  It is that which is IN me and comes OUT of me that is defiling to the world... I had some surgery this past Summer... The doc said I had a bad case of diverticulitis.  So they cut me open and did a bit of selective tissue reduction and he said, "it'll be OK now," but I forgot to ask him if he saw any of the stuff Jesus mentioned... that stuff inside me which defiles....I should have asked...because you really don't want to know what I said about the barber who cut my hair last weekend shorter than it's been since the opening of HS basketball practice in October of 1971.  Really.  My regular hair cutter was ill.  So, I took chair # 2 and was clear about how I wanted my hair cut. But, I guess I should have not closed my eyes while sitting in the chair and by the time I got home after multiple glances in the car's rear view mirror and a more detailed look in the mirror on the bathroom wall...well a sailor would have had a tough time keeping up with the things I said about barber # 2 and her parents and dog... So, Jesus was right... and it was only a bad haircut that got my heart to unload...for any of us...it doesn't take much...

 

And from the Letter of James, the brother of Jesus...

 

"But be doers of the word, and not merely hearers who deceive themselves. 23For if any are hearers of the word and not doers, they are like those who look at themselves in a mirror; 24for they look at themselves and, on going away, immediately forget what they were like. 25But those who look into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and persevere, being not hearers who forget but doers who act—they will be blessed in their doing. 26If any think they are religious, and do not bridle their tongues but deceive their hearts, their religion is worthless. 27Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the polluted world."  -James 1:22-27

 
Is this a truth we can handle?  Is this a truth we dare not ignore?  Here's the short lesson and cause for why "church" is such a critical and urgent concern in our 21st century culture...or in this case...why I'm convinced that the efforts we make in our ministry with men carry far more weight than just a suggestion...

 

1. James sets the tone ...asking: what is 'pure' and 'undefiled' religion before God? Exchange the word, "religion" here for the word, "worship." It fits better and reflects the original intent;
2. Two things, James writes, point to our 'worship' life... a) our personal and collective care for widows and orphans; AND b) keeping ourselves unstained by the polluted world. This is difficult, essential and eternal work!
3. Note that James said, "be doers of the WORD"... not doer of words... Jesus his brother is the WORD of God, to be worshipped and followed and emulated in the world;
4. If Jesus is on target...and I think he is... then I need to be more concerned about my own sin and less concerned about the sin of others as mission priority;
5. But, if I am just 1 of almost 7 billion people who are full of 'defilement' then I don't stand a chance to be pure and holy... as everyday I'm bombarded with the 'defilement' of others. That's the truth and I still have to handle it...but man, oh man... it seems to be a daunting task;
6. Thus, our good works, can never save us and only God's grace is deep enough and high enough and wide enough to cover all the defilement of the world. Simply put, the "cross of Jesus" does it and it is enough. It is and will always be enough!  His resurrection from the dead announces that we have power to walk away from sin, evil and death to pursue and live a new life.
7. The Mark passage, then catches the world off guard.  We sense we have the whole of life in the balance... but honestly.... we seem to have a difficult time handling this truth!

 But, what powerful texts for our lives.... the Word of God comes right at us... and we think there's so much more to tend to...  School's back in session.... Another hurricane.... or two on the way... The national election rolling down the tracks like a train out of control ... it's a long list.... AND to top this off ... I just returned from attending our monthly SeniorS luncheon where the guest speakers were from the Brazoria Child Advocacy office. They assist CPS in the cases of child abuse, both physical and sexual. Their work is hard as well as heart-wrenching! Defilement comes from inside of us... and the world suffers... woman, men and children... and over 650 cases were reported in Brazoria County alone last year. Tens of thousands in Texas.  Reported. The ones we know. There are others; trust that. We all know someone who knows someone...

In over 30 years of parish ministry I have known of only an hand full of child abuse cases. In one case...in another state... in another church...the dad was "under investigation". No one knew but me. But, as churches go... someone suggested this guy be the chaperone and go to camp with the children. I said no. Some asked why. I wouldn't answer. Some were mad at me. I didn't care. Jesus' brother, James, was right...I wanted to be the pastor of a church that watched over widows and orphans and help myself and others remain unstained in a polluted world. For me to agree with this suggestion would put children at risk and basically invite a potential perpetrator a venue to wreak havoc with young hearts and lives.

Nine out of 10 sex offenders are male.  But, it's not just about child abuse. The list Jesus provides leaves none of us innocent. Male or female... young or old... high or low on the socio-economic or education specturm.  It's what the author Scott Peck says in his book, The People of the Lie...

   

"I understand I have the capacity for great evil."

 

He starts with himself. Jesus suggests we should, too. Do we go looking for ways to defile? Not normally, but when the opportunity arises...it's just so easy to fall prey to our own sinfulness... or as we say from time to time... "If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us..." and even when God knows...I'm hoping barber # 2 never finds out!

So, what's the answer...? Well, that's the life-long journey of faith. It's what we call "practicing" our faith so that when the moment confronts us... we will have a faith to put to use.  My goodness won't save me and your goodness wont save you because all the men and women who do despicable things are talked about by their family, friends and neighbors like this..."They were such a good person. We're so surprised!" And we deceive ourselves again...

But, in 30 years of ministry... only a handful of child abuse cases... and what does that say about the people in our churches...? Well, maybe what James and Jesus suggested... for if we recognize that we have great potential to defile (ourselves and others!) then spending my time tending to widows and orphans (literally, people who are broken and at risk) and keeping ourselves unstained by the polluted world, the less likely we are to find ourselves in situations where the worst in us comes rushing out into the world... because it must be said also... we all have the great capacity for goodness..., patience, diligence,  kindness, gentleness, peace-making, etc... and as much as we are simul justus et peccator... saint and sinner...always... our celebrating and nurturing the saint in us speaks to the lasting value and purpose and place "church" is for the world.

 

So, be "doers of the WORD"... pray...worship... study... invite... encourage... give & serve... these things are not against the law and do only one thing and that is to "build up God's kingdom..." and to God in Christ be the glory... always. Amen.

 "Be doers of the word, and not merely hearers ..."  the words of Jesus and James is a truth we can handle... and when Jesus call us out... he does not do so to bring shame upon us...he calls us out to make a difference.

One man at a time; no man left behind,

     Brian

 

Men's Ministry Coordinator

TX-LA Gulf Coast Synod

"THE DEPTH CHART" --Who's On The Team?"

"THE DEPTH CHART" --Who's On The Team?"

To All the KING's Men,

Do you recall the closing scene in the movie, Friday Night Lights?  The senior players were in the stadium parking lot sharing their farewells and good wishes.  Coach Gary Gaines, (played by Billy Bob Thornton) was in the locker room pulling the magnets with last year's team names and replacing them with those who were waiting to be called up next.  One season over; another unfolding. The 'depth chart' was changing once again.  Is there a lesson to be learned here for pastors and men?  Sure. Let's do it!

Who are the men in our churches?  How did they get there?  Why do we find ourselves rubbing shoulders with them season after season, year after year?  Why do they stay?  What is the 'worth-while-ness' of it all?  Do we have a need or desire to 'be perfect' as that high school coached schooled his players?   Jesus gives us a clue when he said, "But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself." (John 12:32 NIV) and since we believe this to be true, then we can blame him and then give thanks as we take a hard look to see what men God has drawn to the team.  Do we know who's there?  Who practices faithfully?   Who the leaders are?  What guys are really hungry to be 'in life's game?' Which guys are urging others to 'come and see' and come and play on God's team?  Do we really know, really?  Who's on the IR (injured reserve list?) needing to rest a bit and who's ready for a new position?  Do we even know how to prepare the team for the next opponent?  Do we let others in on who the opponent is?  And IF we can honestly say that 'every man in the congregation is part of our men's ministry,' (not just the ones who come to the breakfast on Saturday morning) then tending to our congregational depth chart will help us plan and execute an effective ministry with men and for men and those they love and live with!

For those who know me well, they can tell you that I quit playing organized football when I was in the 7th grade.  I never even played on the 8th grade team let alone the Varsity!  Now don't get me wrong; it wasn't because I was no good.  Truth be told, I was known to catch 30-40-60 yard touchdown passes and I had a strong foot allowing me the good fortune of punting a ball 72 yards once (well, there were witnesses to say God had a good wind at my back and the ball took a really, really good bounce!)  I quit because I liked playing basketball better and made one of those hard choices many boys have to make in large suburban high schools and that is sticking with one sport to get that chance to play.  I made mine, so I write this with no 'street cred' about football nuances except to say that much of the gleaning about the details listed here come from a conversation with Texas 5A State Championship Coach Tony Heath, head football coach at Pearland High School.  I've know him for 15 years and he coached two of my sons and as a faithful Christian man and leader of young men he was quick to help!

Coach Heath and I both agree there are great similarities to football teams, coaches and players and life and ministry in the church.  But, to make a full comparison will not serve the church in this generation well nor is my intent here to minimize the efforts and accomplishments of all involved in what we call Friday Night Lights in Texas or any other corner of God's Kingdom!  Despite life being brutal, full of hurt and pain, the goal of football and ministry is not to seek to harm another.  The values learned and lived out in the difficulty of the preparation and the moment to excel is what counts.  It's what Jesus said right after that promising comment of 'drawing all men to himself'...

“For a little while longer the Light is among you. Walk while you have the Light,

so that darkness will not overtake you; he who walks in the darkness does not

 know where he goes. “While you have the Light, believe in the Light,

so that you may become sons of Light.”

Isnt' this a goal for us?  As men of faith?  To lift Christ up before one another?  To walk in his light and be Sons of Light?  To watch out for the 'darkness' in us and around us and tend to the work of ministry for this generation? Of course!  Even Martin Luther echoed this when he wrote...

  “It is the work and the glory of the ministry to make real saints out of sinners,

living souls out of the dead, saved souls out of the damned,

children of God out of servants of the devil.”

Seems like each generation has its task.  So, as the coach (and St. Paul) say... "today is the day of salvation.  It's our time; it's our turn."

Coach Heath runs a tight ship. He's earned the respect he has and is a good student of the game now serving as a mentor to many.  Many of his players have excelled in NCAA Division I, II and IIII college football and some are now even playing in the NFL. His motto is simple.  It includes words like 'teamwork,' 'respect,' 'dedication,' and 'giving everything one has for 48 full minutes!'  He tells parents at the "Introduce the Team' night... "If your son comes out and practices every day he will suit up for the game on Friday."  He means that.  He also reminds parents that the goal of football is to win the game and therefore guarantees no one will play except for the ones he thinks can help accomplish that goal.  So, Coach Heath's 'depth chart' includes everyone who shows up.  Like life in the church, there are no try-outs and no cuts from the roster.  Those who show up are on the team and anyone else who does and seeks to participate is as well!  We should all take note of that. God's men for mission and ministry are the ones who show up and the ones who God continues to draw into the walk and light of Christ!

So, here's how the local high school coach can help the pastor...recognizing that there are some huge distinctions that need to be noted...

Each season is unique.  No surprise here.  Any high school coach who hangs around a school district for 5-10-15 years as Coach Heath has knows that one day his 8th graders will be on the varsity and then a year or two later off to other goals and a new wave of players comes up.  Pastors who do the same may sense that this is true, too, even though many of our men may be on the varsity for 10-15-20 or more seasons.  And yet, as Coach Heath has a need to "bring people along" pastors and men's ministry leaders are smart to recognize this.  People die.  People move.  Spots open up on the roster and we need to know who's going to fill in and pick up the load.  Teamwork.  Dedication.  Patience.  Persistence.  These are words that work for us!

During the Spring drills Coach Heath tries to secure three lists on the depth chart.  Who will be the starting 11 on each side of offense and defense?  Who will be the 2nd wave?  And who will be the starters on the JV Maroon team?  This will be his "go to" guys.  Some players have jobs to lose as they had that position the year before and what the coaching staff will look for is that one or two or three guys who will surprise them because of their off-season work and find a way to play.  The JV team, normally made up of sophomores, will be the 'go to' players over the next two years. 

Coach Heath also sees the success of the Jr. Hi teams as a reflection of the overall program.  How well they do will show up four to fives years later.  I find this an interesting note.  In a congregation like mine, that "Jr Hi" squad would be our HS and college age boys and young men.  This has deep implications for our overall Youth and Family Ministry network and ministry for the long haul. What are we doing for the young men in our churches to help prepare them for the faith work that stands in front of them?   NOTE: I was at the 2006 ELCA National Youth Gathering in San Antonio and attended the 'Father/Son+Men/Boys' breakout session.  We met for about 90 minutes and there was no mention of Lutheran Men in Mission or any pointing to LMM's Master Builder's Bible as a tool for faith development.  So, this is not just a local thing.  It's a opportunity for each pastor and synod leader to address.

Part of the working of the depth chart includes introducing the players to the 'language' and 'concepts' of the team.  The Bible speaks of this in images of 'milk' and 'meat.'  Younger players learn certain plays and particular schemes and formations.  Each year more info is added and each year the ones who do the work get rewarded with playing time.  Unlike the church, if a player misses a block or a tackle, his replacement comes in to do better on the very next play.  When that happens for men in the church, we exercise a certain kind of grace and forgiveness and take the necessary time to teach or re-mind the value of what we are trying to accomplish.  Just the for the record ... I've never kicked a guy out of church for refusing to 'feed the hungry' even though Jesus made it clear it is always on our 'to do' list as Christians... all of us... no exceptions.  Hopefully, like on that football team, others will follow along the actions of the leadership and do what leaders do.  Good behavior is contagious.

Someone close to me once said, "I can't teach what God didn't give."  How true.  I will never be a rocket scientist or a ballerina... so included in the working of the depth chart of ministry is knowing skills people have and what influences they are able to make.  One guy may not be able to sing in Praise Band, but certainly could pay for the bass player to make the band a bit more tight.  Get it?  My sons learned that posture playing football at PHS.  Kenneth played defense, even though he wanted to be a wide receiver.  The coaches found out in 8th grade he couldn't catch and moved him to DE where he found a home a few accolades to go with it.  Nathan wanted to be a DE like his brother but the coaches learned that he was smart and wouldn't forget the plays run in from the sidelines.  So, he played wide receiver and used his wide arm span and strong legs to catch passes and to block the safety so the fast RB could score a touchdown.  In men's ministry we find out what people can do and then help them do it well by placing them in arenas of life where their gifts are best-needed.  Here's the classic example of how we blow that in churches.  We find a guy who owns his own plumbing company and we put him on the church council to be in charge of the 'property committee.'  What's wrong here is that the man OWNS his own company and instead he should be groomed to be the congregational president to help keep the unity and harmony of the congregation in tact!  So, the hard question is... 'As pastors and as leaders of men, do we really know our men and what they do?"  That's a meeting all by itself. Get out your magnetic name tags!

I'm getting to the end here... well, actually, I hope this will be a beginning for most... and that is to say there is plenty for us to do as men devoted to the mission of Christ.  Our churches are not and can't be the local high school football team.  And yet there are certain lessons to glean!  And it goes like this...

• All are welcome!  For those who have been given much; much will be required! There are guys we know who resist God's call.  There are men we know who take seriously God's call when it is convenient for their own life and agenda.  There are men we know who are willing to lay down their lives and die (that is what Jesus was really talking about in John 12!) for another?  There are men who are willing to teach others and so we provide them the means and events to do just that!  We know men who are on the IR list as they are 'hurting' and broken for all kinds of reasons.  They, too, are welcome and needed for even in our brokenness we have value in God's eyes...
• The are no 'try-outs' or 'cuts' on God's team.  The skinny guy who is slow and short of stature may not get the full ride to Ohio State (my safe choice!), but he may be the guy who keeps the star out of trouble and brings a certain kind of humility to the team! All of us have been blessed with gifts to share!
• We all need to practice.  We all need to show up for practice.  Christian learning is life-long learning!  Can we help those who show up for practice be a bit more 'perfect' than they were the day before?  Who will hold each man accountable? The pastor?  The men?  The mission?  God?  Self?  All of the above.
• Leaders gain trust and are identified.  They also need a blessing.  Do we acknowledge the men in our congregations who excel?  Should we have Societies of St. Joseph the Worker for men who go beyond the call of duty?  Should we create a Society of St. Nicholas for those who demonstrate a certain kind of generosity toward those who have less?  Just asking.
• Our success will be determined by identifying the opponent!  Our work is holy, Godly and necessary!  We love God, ourselves and our neighbor... with all our heart and strength and mind. We protect the children.  We respect those older than us.  We seek justice, kindness and mercy for those in need.  We are not at odds with God, ourselves or other men.  Faithlessness, greed, laziness, narcissism, selfishness, apathy remain high on the list of what we are 'versing' each day... work for each of us internally and around us. Men's ministry is not about a Saturday morning breakfast and Bible study.  That's just the 'training meal.'  It helps and pushes us to deeper things.  Men's ministry is daily and eternal.  Men discover the joy of God's path as they pay attention finding value in practicing the verbs pray, worship, study, invite, encourage, give and serve.  A life-time of attending to those seven verbs will shape a man's life and create a legacy that others will want to emulate.  Trust that.

My hope for all our congregations is simple.  Tend to this work. Tending to it year-round!  Pastors, find 7-10 men who will help and lead others.  Here's your varsity.  They may not be there forever, so bring along some others.  See this as 'generational' work.  You may not actually have magnetic name tags, but this group of men should be able to help you find out who and how the men are on your congregational list.  Maybe you even have a 'prospect' list of men who have been attending worship at your church with family or friends.  They should be included.  Jesus has drawn them to you.  They showed up.  It won't take you long to prayerfully discern who is on the list of men you can 'go to'... the ones you count on.  There will be men they know who may not be so excited about this work... but they can be engaged and invited as well. One man at a time; no man left behind as we say... And the best pastoral work we can do for men is to identify the men who are 'hurting.'  You know them by their stripes.  The guy who is getting divorced. They guy who just got fired.  The guy having prostate cancer surgery.  The guy whose daughter just ran off with her boyfriend at college.  The guy who is the only child and his mom died just a few months before Mother's Day... you get it...

So, let's comit ourselves to do this 'depth chart' work.  It's a place to start.  It's the place to start!  Jesus has shown us the value already... he started with 12, one quit the team and it took two candidates to replace him.  Paul showed up in Jerusalem as a 'walk on' and he added some of his friends to the team...Silas, Timothy, etc...  the rest is history... and now it's our turn.  It's our time. 

Thank you for your work!

    Brian

"Back to Basics---Again!"

TO ALL the KING's MEN,

Life's a battle sometimes.  Victories are rarely won alone.  We all need help from time to time!  I pulled a book off my shelf this morning.  It's title?  The Man's Book--The Essential Guide for the Modern Man." An intriguing title, don't you think?  The table of contents covers all kinds of subjects... health, sports and games, women, drinking, smoking, cooking, how to dress and even a section on how to 'idle' while one is away from the job.  I found the smoking section particularly interesting as it included diagrams for how to light and hold a cigar and the proper use of snuff.  The copyright date is 2009, so this really IS a contemporary piece on the modern man. 

However, there was no section on faith or personal growth as a human being... Just a section listing 'holy days' according to the Episcopal church (with no directions as to how to celebrate them) and the recipe for how the church determines when Easter will be.   It makes me wonder if this is the  'primer' and road map for how 'modern man' now shows up only at Easter and Christmas.  Or if he shows up at all! And maybe I don't want to be that modern man. You? For how can a man be modern and how can one even be a man if there is no desire or call to tend to one's inside life? Just sayin'.

It's almost Easter... almost...and even now that the big annual Houston event is over I can say..."this ain't my first rodeo!" Thirty-plus years of ministry will do that.  And it's been a great ride!  To my memory, the only day I have not been in a church on Easter Sunday was in 1973 when I went to San Jaun Capristrano and SoCal for Spring break in college with a couple of fraternity brothers.  So, that's a lot of Easters...  But, not only that... I lived in New Orleans for almost a decade of my life and I can also say with great confidence..."Mardi Gras always ends like this"... with Lent and Holy Week and the Great 3 days... the story that shapes and defines who we are and how we live as Christian men. So, let's get back to basics for a moment...as this is who we are and this is how we live...

KING'S Men... as we...

     + K now Christ!
     + I nvite others to join God's team!
     + N urture our faith through prayer, worship & daily Bible reading!
     + G ive our time & money supporting God's work in our church!'
     + ' ( ' = a sign of God's "possession"   ---who we are and whose we are!)
     + S peak well of our pastor and the men in our lives!

KING'S men...that's who we are... this is what we do...

2012 started off different than the last 3-4 years.  How?  Well, simply said, it seems this "men's ministry' drum I've been beating since 2007, as the synod's Co-ordinator for Men's Ministry, has started to echo around the synod and even farther...  There have been numerous calls from pastors and congregations asking, 'can you come and give us some time to a) get our men's ministry on the right track?' or b) 'Can you come and share how to expand our men's ministry beyond the Saturday breakfast and Bible study?'  These invitations have connections as there have been requests for me to go to Iowa, PA and Henderson, NV...but my 'road trip' schedule is not the focus of this note...  I also need to say, 'thank you' to all of you who keep applauding this work... as it is easy to get into a funk about men's complacency and resistance to 'looking inside' and 'being real' with others... remember, this is not rocket science... it's harder...

Ok, so let me go a little farther and broader here and say what is at the heart of these questions and requests... and that they will not be accomplished by me and a handful of elected synodical leaders alone.  Our partnership as people of faith... clergy, AiMs, Youth & Family ministry staff and leaders of men in our congregations will in the end provide the prayerful energy and spiritual support to engage all of the men in all of our congregations in this important and urgent work.  Not convinced?  Read a couple of blogs about Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman and tell me what's missing here?

As the official men's organization of our synod. LMM, we are required to hold an annual meeting to teach, train, worship and tend to the business of the church... as what I consider a most essential arm of what our congregations are about in our neighborhoods, this synod and the world.  So, we did that this year.  Our synod event was held in Kenner, LA at Christ the King.  Less than 40 men attended, including 3 pastors.  Assistant to the Bishop, Dr. Don Carlson was present, too.  And while at the surface you might want to throw your hands up in the air and say, "what's the use?" you will need to know that this gathering included 5 male students from LSU's Lutheran Campus ministry... and each received a copy of the Master Builders Bible and were blessed beyond belief as well as giving blessing back to their older and 'seasoned' brothers!  There was also ONE HUGE take-away... and that is always asking the question, every time we meet, "what's next?"  And this is it...

BUILDING MEN FOR CHRIST event in the Bayou Ministerium where this next stop goes...

The date is:  Saturday, April 21st. 8 AM - 4 PM.  Bethlehem Church and Pastor Patrick Keen will host the event and national LMM president, Rich White will be the presenter.  Details and registration forms are being handled in the Bayou Ministerium and here is a link to share more information and how one of these events goes (see the sample fliers on line)...

    http://www.lutheranmeninmission.org/events/bm4c.html

But, that's not all, conversations are already taking place to host two more of these events on the Texas side of the synod later this year...one in the metro area and the other in the Western sector/Brenham churches.

But, wait... there's a bit more... as I said this effort to answer those two begging questions will require a greater effort... and that's where 'another' next step comes in to play... and I will be contacting the pastors and lay leaders of some of our larger congregations to help me build a team of 15-25 men who can become the first wave of trainers for the "One Year to Live" event also sponsored by LMM.  OYTL is what men move toward and through after they've connected and have become a bit more rooted in their own congregation... Camp Lutherhill will be the site for this intense and life-changing weekend gathering...and here's that link... 

   http://www.lutheranmeninmission.org/events/oytl.html

So, here's my prophetic thought... when our congregations get back to basics and offer ways for men to have a life-time of ongoing faith development then we will have churches full of "Modern Men" who are prepared to engage life, when it feels like a battle or not...

"one man at a time...no man left behind..."

   Brian

COMING NEXT on this blog: 

"The Depth Chart: Seeing men's ministry through the eyes and heart of a football coach."  Too vague?  Well, here's the question..."how can we build a ministry team of men when we don't know who our men are and what they are capable of doing?"